He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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