i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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