I hope mine doesn't look like that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
