id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
