i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
