My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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