Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize