Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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