So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
