someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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