i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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