Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
