I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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