I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
