Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
