Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do herpes really smell.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
