Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
