Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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