she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
