My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
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The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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