Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
