it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
