You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
