is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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