You're so nebulous sometimes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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