I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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