We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
