1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize