What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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