bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
