I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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