I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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