I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
