I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
