the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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