I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
