ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
