Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
