She's JV to your varsity
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Help. Why am I so naked?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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