Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize