Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
