So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
