I could have mohawked her pubes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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