After last night, I could never be a politician.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
