sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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