I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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