I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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