It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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