I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Your dad touched me again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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