Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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