Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
