So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
