My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
