Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
