What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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