turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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