its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
