also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
