If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
