This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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