I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
