so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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