It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
