dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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