you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
